You’re tripping yourself (and your kids) up, and you may not even know it.
Stay with me…
At the start of 2022, I sent the Cast Iron Babe team copies of Gay Hendricks’s The Big Leap to ring in the new year.
The Big Leap was a game-changer for me when I first read it over a decade ago. In it, Hendricks, a professor in psychology, takes a clear and empathetic look at how we create limiting beliefs in our lives so that we can stop getting in the way of our happiness and fulfillment.
Hendricks writes: “Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure.”
As we unravel our habits of self-sabotage to experience more joy in our lives, we need to get to the root of our limiting beliefs. The gut-puncher for me is how many of our limiting beliefs are established in our childhood.
Hendricks shows us four hidden limiting beliefs that are often established in our families of origin:
1️⃣ Parents can pass their fears and stresses onto their kids, leading to patterns of playing safe and staying small as kids get older.
2️⃣ Parents that have spoken or unspoken rules or expectations for success can lead to adults that feel like failures if those rules or expectations aren’t met.
3️⃣ Parents who make their children feel like burdens can hold their grown kids back from full success and enjoyment.
4️⃣ Parents can pass on subliminal messages not shine too bright (usually so that others won’t feel bad), which can lead to adults who play down their talents and don’t fully enjoy their successes.
Please know that I don’t think parents can ever get this fully right. Even the most loving and conscious of parents can unknowingly instill limiting beliefs in their kids. Fears and false beliefs are part of being human.
But I also know that we can bring more awareness to our patterns. We can tackle our own limiting beliefs so we don’t model these for our kids. And, if we interact with our kids in ways we regret, it’s important that we talk with our children about our behavior.
The simple solution is just to become more aware from this point forward. Reply to this message and let me know if this resonates, and, if it does, please pass this on to a friend.
You got this!
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